Even When You Chose It

Joy and sadness arrive together

Earlier today, I read a post from a colleague who had just put her house of 27 years on the market. She named the feeling as grief, even though selling was her own choice. I knew that feeling. Two years ago, our house of 22 years went on the market so we could move to Lewes and join a beach community.

Even when it’s your decision, you’re still closing a chapter. The joy and the sadness arrive together.

(Picture: Our last picture as we were driving away).

I’ve felt it every time I’ve moved on to the next thing. Every resignation. Finishing one role and starting another, and there were a lot of those in my Accenture years. The end of a contract. Each time we packed up a house. The pull toward what’s next, and the ache of what I’m leaving behind. Most of the time, it isn’t the place. It’s the people, and knowing the relationships don’t always stay the same once you’ve gone.

This week was a fueling one for me. I caught up with colleagues I worked with years ago at different companies who have gone on to lead their own organizations. We traded notes on what it takes to lead right now, what clients expect, what people want and need from their leaders. We hadn’t talked in years. The rhythm came back in the first few minutes. Some relationships survive the move. I carry them with me, and they steady me wherever I land next.

Two years on, I still miss my old neighborhood for what it meant to me while my kids were growing up, and I was growing my career, but I love the one we’re in now.

I was sad to close out my corporate life, the learning, and the people that came with it, but I’ve also loved the doors this work has opened since.

Joy and sadness go hand in hand.

Are you holding off on closing a door because of what you’d leave behind, and missing what might be waiting on the other side of it?

Hi. I’m Melissa, a former Corporate HR Executive who now spends her time with leaders who own high-stakes decisions and don’t have someone inside the organization to pressure-test their thinking with.

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Weekend Thoughts for Reflection

"Some of you say, 'Joy is greater than sorrow,' and others say, 'Nay, sorrow is the greater.' But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." - Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

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"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." - Anatole France

Announcements

📣 If you missed the Substack Live from this week, you can watch Neema Amin and me here. It was so much fun, so I plan on doing these regularly. If you want to join me live, let me know.

🎧 You can find out what I’m listening to on my Spotify playlist.

👀 You can find my free leadership resources here.

📓 You can also find additional daily content from me on Notes and on LinkedIn.

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Leadership Learning Content

Articles

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Communication is disciplined.

Inside the bubble, communication has a purpose. Every exchange either advances the mission or it doesn’t. This isn’t about being cold or unavailable. It’s about recognising that noise dressed as communication is still noise. Disciplined communication also means your team knows what you need from them, when you need it, and in what form. Ambiguity is a bubble-breaker.

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