The Promises We Don't Keep
Reliable to Everyone But Yourself
The speaker’s question hit hard this week.
“Have you ever broken a promise to yourself?”
I wanted to say no because I’m the person who keeps commitments. It’s not a small part of how I see myself, but my head was nodding.
I commit to deadlines, showing up for my clients, and making sure my team has what they need…and these are firm commitments. The commitments I negotiate are the ones where the cost feels less, even when it isn’t: the second or third strength workout that slides when work seems more important; the hamstring rehab that always feels like one more thing; the five more minutes at my desk, which becomes ten or more, while my husband is waiting to start dinner.
Often, the commitments that feel flexible are the ones that are refueling us. The workout. The real end to the workday. The weekend that stays a weekend. The family time.
When those slide, nothing breaks immediately, so we don’t notice. We only notice when the gap between who we say we are and how we're actually operating gets too hard to ignore. And these promises…they’re the ones that support our endurance strategy, the things that ensure we’re not running on empty.
As leaders, we build rhythms and accountability into our teams without a second thought. We need to do the same for ourselves.
I hired a personal trainer this week. I know how to strength train, but I need to remove my own discretion right now. The harder admission is that I postponed this decision because part of me believed I just needed to try harder. That's the trap. Getting support isn't a failure of commitment. It's what commitment actually looks like when you're serious about it.
What’s the one commitment you keep renegotiating, and what would it look like to stop leaving yourself on the honor system?
Thoughts for Reflection
"We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears." - Francois de la Rochefoucauld
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." - Kenneth Blanchard
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